No matter who you vote for the council always get in

Blogging has been and will continue to be necessarily light over the next few days for three reasons:

1. Local council elections. I’m covering 3 areas tomorrow and have plotted my route for the day according to location of coffee shops and toilets. Interested as I am in politics, I can’t bloody wait for these things to be over, so I don’t have to interview every person standing for election about the rabid badger problem in their ward.

This inevitably results in one suggesting a full cull, one suggesting we try and solve the cause of why the badgers became rabid in the first place, one will say it’s all Europe’s fault and the sitting councillor will deny there’s any badgers in the ward in the first place. Probably.

That said, the letters pages of the local papers are always amusing at this time of year as absolutely everybody will have an opinion on how often the council should recycle the decomposing badgers. It’s just surely a matter of time before politicians are elected in a knockout tournament, not dissimilar to Brockian Ultra Cricket, where the only available weapon is a flying pan made out of stuffed dead badgers.

2. Football. With the Exeter City v Oxford United play-offs looming this bank holiday, in between badgering people about elections, I’ve been churning out large amounts of stories and interviews about the Grecians, all under the pretence of ‘work’. Actually, it’s turning into quite a big deal in the City as there’s a real possibility we could do it.

I’m going to remain optimistically cautious but not overly so as I’m sure the minute I start hyping up our chances an unexploded bomb will be found under St. James’ Park and Oxford will be given a bye to the final due to some obscure by-law dating from from 1947.

Come Tuesday evening, for the return leg at the Kassam, I’m going to be a gibbering wreck, of that I’m sure. I’ll probably also have to do post-match interviews, so let’s hope the bauys will understand that ‘Hgnfhngahnannnaaaaaaahhh’ roughly translates into, “So, what did you make of the offside decision at the end of the first half?”

3. Facebook. I signed up for it on Monday, have already spent more time than’s good for me on there ‘poking’ friends and lying to people I’ve not seen for several years that I’ve made a fortune from launching an online Teach Yourself Estonian guide, and am now busy buying up and demolishing a good deal of Milton Keynes with the proceeds, so I can redesign the town in the shape of a snail. This will only be visible to space tourists and will form a large part of my next business venture.

That said the bastarding network site locked me out this morning and my password isn’t working any more. I think that’s their subtle way of telling me I need to both get a life and get back to work. There’s no rest for the wicked.

++++

As a random aside, I discovered today one of my colleagues actually had to eat a roadkill badger during a university journalism assignment. Frankly, I’d have quit the profession there and then, as there’s just no way you could ever top that.

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