Tell it to hiss off…

Yes folks, it’s random reach Gary’s blog search time, and not at all a bout of navel gazing so people think I actually type something in this new fangled interweb thingumy.

My favourite so far has been the two people who’ve arrived here searching for:

“WOT SHOULD I DO IF SEE A SNAKE?”

One would assume the same thing as if you see a black widow or a crocodile. Get the hell out of there.

Note the capital letters, and bastardisation of the word what. This is clearly a gap year student using the internet to research their trip to Africa, where they’ll spend six months building huts out of old weetabix boxes for a grateful community, before boring the world about exactly how they invented a cure for malaria.

Then there’s my second favourite:

“Where have my trousers gone?”

Seriously mate. If you’ve lost your trousers and are sitting at your keyboard wearing nothing more than a T-shirt and Y-fronts, then I’d suggest Google is probably not going to be a great deal of help. This blog even less so. I suggest looking in the fridge. I’ve found some random stuff heaped in there after waking up the morning after the night before.

Finally, I’m really baffled as to why I get about 10 hits a day from somebody searching for ‘plastic surgery games’ or variations thereof. Is this some kind of botox tournament, akin to the Olympics where Jordan, Cher, and Joan Collins compete as to who can have the full nip/tuck done in the quickest time possible? If so, why aren’t Channel 5 showing it?

Oh, and while I’m here, this had me laughing like a drain for 2 minutes 27 seconds (via the ASI).

UDPATE: During the time it took me to write this post, somebody’s searched for “Plastic Surgery for Boobies Game.”

Firstly, where is this game, and how can I play. Secondly, one set of parents might want to check exactly what their teenage son is doing tonight, and get ready with the stain remover.

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Yes, this is my name. And my email. Use it wisely or you're not getting a biscuit with your tea: garyllewellynandrews [at] gmail [dot] com

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