Smoking, big style

I’ve been in London about a week now and, you know what, I quite like the place. It may be large, people may not be that chatty but, you know what, I quite like that as well. Generally, there’s lots I like about the place.

For those expecting tales of London-style debauchery, living it up in the capital’s most dubious bars every night repeatedly ending up in compromising positions with Kate Moss and Amy Winehouse while Pete Doherty injects us all with heroin in the buttocks, that hasn’t happened, and nor would I want it to. And, anyway, I can’t imagine ever approaching Pete Doherty for any reason whatsoever other than to tell him he’s a massively overrated musician, and musician is pushing it.

Anyway, I’m alive, and nobody has tried to attack me with weaponry of any sorts. But there are a few things that baffle me about London, despite my general liking of the city.

1. London Transport System. Efficient it may be, but travelcards and Oyster cards and cards in general.  I’m sure its simply once Ive settled, but trains have always thrown me. Some years ago, I accidentally ended up in Barnstaple due to a train error. I’m just not good with them.

2. Fat people running up escalators, then stopping at the top.

Amusing, yet pointless.

3. Wearings jumpers over your shoulders, tieing the garment’s arms in a loose knot around your neck.

I’ve never been in step with fashion, but this just confuses me.

4. The London Paper and London Lite.

I’ve yet to work out what purpose they save. I’ve read one virtually every day and still don’t feel like I’ve actually learnt anything. I’m not a big fan of Metro, but it reads like Proust, Dickens, Shakespeare and JK Rowling rolled into one.

5. The large selection of Cornish pasties available.

I don’t have a problem with this, I just wonder if London has reached Cornish-pasty saturation point.

Apart from that, everything can be described as good. I will have something more sensible to say soon, once I move house properly and get settled, but expect more idiotic confusion over trains and pasties in the meantime.


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October 2007
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Yes, this is my name. And my email. Use it wisely or you're not getting a biscuit with your tea: garyllewellynandrews [at] gmail [dot] com

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