Blogging is great but…

1. It doesn’t stop me becoming fat.

2. It doesn’t help me sort out my tax.

3. It doesn’t make the house clean or tidy.

4. It will distract me from Heroes tomorrow night.

5. It won’t help me sort out various things with the insurance company.

6. It doesn’t enable me to tackle the LITERALLY huge mountains of ironing I have to do.

7. It doesn’t make me rich. Yet.

To counteract at least one of these, I’ve joined a gym. A gym where I utterly failed to comprehend how to use their lockers, while later I collapsed in a sweaty heap while the slightly corpulent lady who’d been on roughly the same equipment as me to roughly the same intensity levels looked fresh and ready for another hour. God, I’m good.

I’m hoping to combine 4 and 6 tomorrow night. Housemates have already been warned any efforts to change the channel will result in a Sylar-style execution.

As for 7, I’d really appreciate it if somebody stuffed a large brown envelope through my letterbox in the next few days. Fivers, if possible. I could really do with a new laptop, for a start. Seven would also mean I could stop worrying about the other numbers, as I could largely employ people to do these for me. Apart from 1. I could just about stand being obnoxiously rich (as opposed to just plain obnoxious at the moment). But obnoxiously rich and a fatty? I’d end up looking like Alisher Usmanov.

As for the rest, I badly need to stop procrastinating, so every time I post something on here, please shout at me to remind me I need to shout at the Inland Revenue, and another such assorted administration necessities. And if that fails, send somebody round to slap me with a wet haddock, or something.

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