I gave in. I’ve been fed up of cramming stuff into my pockets, so I’ve only gone and brought a bloody manbag. At least that’s what I think it is. It was in the men’s section in Next, so I’m assuming this is what it is. And it’s a good size, not like one of those rubbish purse-like things that I always assumed were portable washbags.
And not only have I brought one, I’ve been using it. And finding it useful. It even has compartments. Bloody compartments for Christ’s sake.
I’m worried what this says about me now. Does it now mean that I’ve finally crashed the line from occasional media tosser into fullblown media wanker? Does it mark me out as a radiohead fan? Does it imply that I’m one of those men who is so concerned with bulging pockets that he can’t cope without a bloody bag? A bag with compartments, if I hadn’t already mention that. And does it make my bum look big?
The answer to all of the above, I think, is probably yes.
Face it, I’d probably be a metrosexual by now if it wasn’t for the fact:
- I have ginger stubble
- I wouldn’t know a cologne if it sprayed itself on my nose
- I don’t like wearing suits
- I know nothing about branded clothing
- I’d still rather watch football than go to the theatre
- I don’t like cocktails
- I’m far too ugly
- I don’t know what a metrosexual is
On the flipside, I’m not a particularly bloke-like bloke. I can cook, iron, clean the house, really despise those WKD adverts. I’m sure there are other things but I can’t think of them. actually, I’ve now panicked myself into thinking I’m far too blokey and am probably the equivalent of a knuckle-dragging sexist version of early man.
London can do strange things to a chap though. If you told me a year ago I’d be buying a bag – with compartments, no less – I’d have stuck it over my head in shame.
UPDATE: I’ve just been informed my the girls in the office that I’ve not purchased a manbag. According to them I have a masculine-orientated unisex bag. However, it’s been countered by another colleague than, as it was purchased from a menswear department, it should come under the category of manbag. Maybe it’s a Bag For Men rather than a Manbag? Is there a difference? Are there any other names for it? I’m confused. And just slightly relieved.